This post is going to be a rant so hopefully, you enjoy my annoying humor… feat two girls I met at the Columbus Airport.
First off, I hate Michigan and I am never coming back. I actually wish my plane would have crashed so that I didn’t have to suffer through this. Even though those yellow string cups scare me more than snakes in toilets, I would rather have seen those than the inside of this hotel room.
Let me begin to list the things that have literally made me wish death upon myself. (not literally)
- While arriving at the Airport in Hell, a.k.a Michigan, I received information that my flight from Detroit to Paris was canceled… I’m sorry what?
- Not only was it canceled but I spent literally 6.5 hours waiting to find out when I might be leaving; Only to receive the info that it may not be until Thursday… UMN WHAT!
- After accepting the sad fact that I would be stuck in this poop-hole possibly until Thursday, I went downstairs to claim my luggage and head to the hotel. Girl #1’s luggage was lost and we ended up waiting for it for 3 hours!
- Once we found the luggage we had to catch a shuttle to the hotel, which might I add included standing in a wind tunnel in 10-degree weather with a million buses zooming by. I can’t express how badly I wanted to punch the lady who was following me while screaming the shuttle names!
- Finally, we arrive at the hotel, which is free, and are issued our keys. We probably walked around the hotel for 30 minutes because apparently, no one works here and our room is located in this secret hallway.
- In the morning, two of us woke up with a cold with a cold! Even more, our complimentary breakfast included a guy who tried to con us into paying for “hot breakfast” until we basically said shut up and go away.
- We all three took a nap after breakfast and housekeeping knocked on our door telling us to get out when we are indeed at least supposed to be here until tomorrow.
- We took an Uber to the mall which was not much more exciting than laying on my hotel jail bed.
- No movies were playing and I ate a black bean burger that is currently forming a real-life monster in my bowels.
- The Uber on the way back was with this older black lady who drove up on the Macy’s sidewalk to pick us up and then kept purposely missing turns to get more money. Not to mention it should be illegal to chew your gum that way.
So yes, I am indeed not in Florence and I indeed have no idea when I will be.
I hate Detroit. And it’s no wonder you can buy a house here for a dollar.
The positive outlook? I ate some pretty good pizza and made two new friends.
See you soon,