I’m slowly coming to a conclusion that all boys suck and are useless. Even the ones we fall in love with, marry and have cute little mini me’s with. THEY ALL SUCK. Even though I have a humungous crush on one right now…. he sucks, mostly because he snores. I have come to this conclusion based on the fact that right when I got out of bed a few days ago this certain boy told me “you look fine” and proceeded to tell me that I could go into public looking like that.
Now anyone who knows me knows that I have naturally curly hair. And anyone who has naturally curly hair knows you can’t go to bed with it wet…. I did that night, hopefully, this gives you some type of visual.
At this moment, I have decided to create a list of reasons why boys suck and are mostly useless…
- They tell you that you look fine when actually you look like a cave woman disturbed during hibernation.
- Emotional support is a hard negative, they might as well be patting your back with a broom.
- They never answer the phone during a 2 a.m. crisis like hello wake up I can’t open the mayo and you aren’t here…
- They are ALWAYS late. Like I thought I was supposed to be that one running fashionably late. I think boys secretly wear makeup that we don’t know about.
- When you need them to take your side in a useless girl fight and they just say nothing… “that bitch” or “you want me to kick her ass” is always a right answer.
- When you try to look nice they see no difference than when you’ve just gotten out of bed and been sick for two weeks.
- For all the things they don’t notice they sure do notice when you pick a wedgie, have an eye booger, or when a little toot comes out.
- They think girls don’t fart. For a boy who actually picks his nose, keeps his hand in his pants, and farts constantly while home alone you sure are judging harshly.
- They all try to act manly and like us women are so much drama but secretly they all gossip and fight like a bunch of girls.
- They can’t read our minds when the time is right. Yes, I do want flowers and I did want you to kiss me on the first date twenty years ago.
- They won’t tell you if you have something in your teeth. It could be there for hours and they still won’t say a darn thing.
- They stink, are dirty, and cooties are real!
I’m sure there are more reasons as this thought crosses my mind each day when I get irritated for .5 second because of a boy. As much as they suck they are cute, they smell nice after showers, and their clothes are comfortable. Ditch the list, “it’s fine”…
See you soon,